Though the word style and stylish sound like they are one in the same, in reality they are not. Every one of us has our own style, every one of us chooses and wears garments in our own way. Consciously or otherwise our style tells the world who and what we are; it is indicative of many things but above all it is a clue to how we feel about ourselves. While every individual has their own style, not every individual could be described as ‘stylish’. We can all rattle off the names of  individuals in the public domain and in our own real lives that we consider stylish. But what makes them so in our eyes? The usual response is what they wear or perhaps how they wear it but a fabulous dress on a style icon can look less than fabulous on someone else.

What does ‘stylish’ mean?  Does it require being the ideal weight, or being immaculately groomed, or being young, or being classically beautiful?  We don’t think so. But there is one very important requirement for being stylish: that is self acceptance. It’s about accepting our faces and our bodies as they are right now! Did any of you think about Maggie Tabberer when you were thinking about a stylish woman. She is certainly not a size 10. Did anyone think of Helen Mirren? She is in her 60’s.

We women are so talented and practised at focussing on the bits of our bodies that we deem less than perfect. From a very early age we lament our big boobs, our tiny breasts, our generous hips, our straight torso, our long neck, our short neck, our turned-up nose, our straight nose…..And sadly our self criticism becomes more scathing with age. Now, not only is everything the wrong size, it’s all heading south, east and west. Now we have sagging boobs, soft tummies, tuckshop arms and cellulite.

If stylish is how you would like to be, and so many of our clients say it is, then the first step in the process is to stop beating up on yourself. We bet Helen Mirren has her fair share of cellulite but she also wears a great bra and support undies!! Many of us spend too much time focussing on what we had way back when, and yet way back when we weren’t satisfied either. We read recently another image consultant’s book, and she spoke of a 78 year old client who said; “If I knew at 50 how much further south gravity was going to take my body at 70, I’d have shown off my body a lot more. And had lots more sex.”

We have a choice girls; we can keep wishing and a-hoping for what we had at 18, 28, 38 or we can just get over it and love the body we have today! When we sincerely do this, we can focus on what is still working for us, there’s always something. And if need be we can invest in some great underwear. Then we can start out on the journey of being absolutely fabulous!